Book Review #5: Twilight By Stephanie Meyer

Pages: 498
A new state, a new school, a new life is what awaits the dull mope Bella Swan. Bella is a very grumpy child and a very big mope. She moves to the rainiest state in the whole US and meets Edward Cullen. Edward is mysterious and strange, his family keep to themselves, he's pale white, ice cold, and worst of all he sparkles. In other words Edward is a vampire, not a vampire who sucks blood out of whole towns but a vampire who is 93 years old who decides he loves a 17 year old. Lovely. Well Bella falls for him and they begin their stupid, useless, boring, adventure of crap.

I did NOT like this book. I think all of us go through a Twilight phase, me included, but when I came to my senses I realized that this was probably one of the worst books I've ever read in my life. Stephanie Meyer can NOT write to save her life. The reading level for her books is, for first graders. I HATED this book.

It was so cheesy and dumb. I was appalled at how stupid it was. I go back and read it sometimes and I am just blown away at how revoltingly stupid it is. I can't even believe it. I don't understand why it is socially acceptable for a 93 year old freak who looks like he's 17 be in love with an ACTUAL 17 year old. CREEPY!

The movie was just terrible. It's so cheesy Edward and Bella's love. I couldn't stand it. Sometimes I'll look away from my TV when I'm watching it just to get away from it. Kristen Stewart who plays Bella cannot act to save her life. In the movie all I could hear of her was HEAVY breathing. I drove me nuts. She has no personality, and I don't understand why Edward and Jacob think that she's the only game in town. It's ridiculous! In New Moon (the next book in the series) the movie she wouldn't stop blinking! If it isn't breathing it's uncontrollable blinking.

The whole "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" thing drives me nuts. I hate hearing in the halls, "I'm Team Jacob because he's hot!" or, "You hate Edward, well I'm just going to have to hit you with a shovel". That drives me insane!

Now I will admit I have been to the New Moon premiere which was very fun but honestly I think I would only go see "Breaking Dawn" to see how they make it. I didn't like this book or series at all.

Stephanie Meyer you cannot write to save your life! I'm sorry but you don't know how to write I don't think that you will catch on.

I rated this book a negative one out of five. It was stupid and cheesy and totally not worth my time. If you are addicted to Twilight I urge you to get professional help immediately. This series is stupid and it just lowers you IQ. I recommend Harry Potter if you can't afford professional help.